Will wonders never cease?

   I 'm amazed with computer technology today and what I can do and still be so ignorant. I believe I could rule the world if I actually knew what I was doing on this thing. The one thing that I still can't do very well is type.  My poor little fingers have taken a beating as I pound out correction after correction. But all that is behind me now. Technology to the rescue! Why sit and sweat and wear out your fingers when all you have to do is talk to your computer. I've been swearing at it any way. Why not try talking to it? For the low low price of a small economy car you can purchase a "Talk and Type" program.
   Just had to have me one of those little jewels.  No more typing!!! Just talking. Or so it seemed. It didn't tell me on the outside of the box that I had to train the damn thing. It didn't tell me a lot of the other stuff you need to know before you buy it. That's called merchandising. The box showed a smiling man just talking to his computer. What it should have shown was an enraged man screaming at the top of his lungs ripping the box to shreds and throwing it at the computer.
   Yes, this thing as I have come to call it has to be trained to your voice. You have to sit in a very quiet room and read to your computer.  This is so that it can learn how you pronounce words. When using this thing you not only have to pronounce each and every word clearly but you also have to say each punctuation like period, question mark, comma ect. ect. Yeah that how I naturally speak.
   After a few days of being locked up in this quiet room your newly found friend is ready for the test. The very first thing that I learned was that not only could I not type but I couldn't talk either. This thing has a mind of it's own. I very clearly say " Good morning " It prints " Thursday blue
September airplane" ?????????.  The dogs walk through the room and bark and it types out a sentence. At least I now know what the dogs are saying or do I ? This thing understands the dogs better than it understands me.
   I'm back to training it again. Does this thing understand accents? Maybe I just need a "Southern Edition"

                                                    Carl