Smoke and Mirrors

    I should be filthy rich but I'm not.  I don't know where the money went.
The money I'm talking about is the money I was spending on cigarettes.  I
quit smoking about ten years ago and I was spending a fortune on cigarettes
at the time.  I don't have any more money now than I did then.  It must be
some of that fuzzy math.  Anyway the point is that I did quit smoking.  I
was finally able to quit using the patch but that came only after I had
tried so many other ways.
   I tried cold turkey.  That didn't work.  I tried hypnosis.  That didn't
work.  I tried gum.  That didn't work.  Then I heard about a therapist that
had helped many others to quit this habit I was totally addicted to in just
one visit.  I made an appointment  and was told to bring all of the
cigarettes I had and to stop and buy a carton and a lighter on the way to my
appointment.  Sounded strange but if it worked I'd be happy.
   When I arrived with my bag full of cigarettes and lighter  I was sent to
a small room not much bigger than a walk in closet with a huge mirror on one
wall.  There were no windows.   There was just enough room for a small
table, two chairs,an ash tray and a fire extinguisher.  This was a closet!
I had a seat and waited.
  The therapist came in, sat down and said " I'll talk , you smoke"  I was
instructed to smoke the entire session without stopping or until I ran out
of cigarettes.  I lit up again, again again and again without stopping.
Each time I finished one I was told to light another one.  I was told to
smoke faster and faster.  After about 20 cigarettes the little room was
filled with smoke and I couldn't even see the therapist .  We were only ten
minutes into the session and had fifty minutes to go.
  Finally a bell sounded at the end of an hour and the session was over. "
OK you can quit smoking now "  I must have smoked a hundred cigarettes.  I
was dizzy and nauseated .  A huge fan was turned on and all the smoke was
sucked from the room and I could see the therapist again.
  I looked in the mirror and saw myself.  I 'm not sure if I was yellowish
green or greenish yellow .  I looked like I had eaten a box of crayons.
"So after this what do you think about smoking now? " he asked.   As I
leaned back in my chair and lit up another cigarette I said, " I'm thinking about
giving up sex too doctor! Do you think the same kind of therapy would help?"

Carl